Cell group members not building relationships with one another

My cell group functions only when we meet and during church services. Outside of these times, most of the group members don’t seem to have friendships with one another. A few of us, including the cell leader and myself, are trying hard to keep the group going, but the other members are busy doing their own thing and not really involved. How can we improve this situation as it has been going on for some time? How do we keep on going, without feeling burnt out?


At The Well

Ai Jin says

Dear Damascus,

I hear your desire for the cell group members to connect better and wish the members were more committed to building relationships. To avoid burnout, you should be doing tasks which you are happy to set aside time and energy for and be careful not to take on more than you can handle. Perhaps focus on how to make the best use of the cell group time to achieve the goal of deepening connections. Consider some ways your cell group leader and you can be instrumental in creating connections between the members.

While not exhaustive, here are some ideas:

  • Introduce warm-up questions at start of cell group. Questions that are personal, light-hearted and help everyone to learn something new about each other. Some examples: What was your favourite meal of the week? / Share an embarrassing moment and how you overcame it. / If you are granted a wish, what would you wish for and why?
  • How about addressing the concern together with the group and embark on a journey to be more relational by reading a relevant book together. Here’s one on spiritual friendship, 3-2-1: Following Jesus in Threes (published by Graceworks, 2014) which could encourage members to practise doing life together in smaller groups of three, during the week.
  • Discuss and draw up a simple roster for everyone to take turns to contribute to the cell group programme. Some can bring food, while others lead worship or Bible study discussions. This can be divided according to their preference/ spiritual gifts. Have them serve together in pairs.

Psalm 127:1 (ESV) reminds us that “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labour in vain.”  We can pray and trust the Holy Spirit to minister and connect every heart each time your cell group meets.