Is it weird I don’t have a BFF?

I have a couple of good friends, some that I can share things with. However, I do not have a best friend. Also, though I have many friends from different social circles whom I meet with occasionally, I don’t have one particular close-knit group that I often hang out with. I have been wondering for years: Is it normal not to have a best friend at all, or a close-knit social circle? Is there anything wrong with me or my personality?


At The Well

Ai Jin says

Dear Quinnie,

You seem to hold a belief that “if one does not have a best friend or close-knit social circle, it is not normal” and also seem inclined to attribute a lack of that as due to your personality. Generally, friendships develop organically and there is a mutuality to it (it takes two hands to clap). There are many reasons why friendships form, maintain and grow deeper, while others grow apart. Life transitions, changes in interests and priorities and other reasons are often beyond one’s control.

As such, it is unhelpful to allow this lack of a close-knit social circle to discourage you. Instead, how about focusing on the fact that you do have a couple of good friends and even some whom you can share things with, as well as diverse friends from different social circles? These are relationships which you do have and which you can build upon.

If I may do a pitch for church life groups, they are meant to be close as one’s spiritual family. Perhaps do seek out one that is suitable for you as this can provide the opportunity to grow within a community that gives and receives love in Christ.