Years ago, when Singaporean families went on holiday, it often took the form of a road trip to Cameron Highlands or to Kuala Lumpur. The road then was an undivided two-way road that snaked up north and was periodically signposted with signs that read “Utara” (or North in English). Regardless of the occasional detours, twists and turns, if you followed the Utara signs and stayed on the road, you would eventually reach Kuala Lumpur.
Social work and counselling are vocations with their fair share of “twists and turns”. The unexpected detours and logjams often leave many travellers feeling lost, tired, discouraged and disillusioned. Just like travellers who found themselves on a wrong train, many wonder if they made a wrong choice in their journey for a meaningful career.
Some suffer burnout from the emotional stresses that come from helping clients with chronic and multiple needs. Some plod on day after day, with each step leaving them feeling tired physically and emotionally. They question how their noble and well-intentioned decision has been translated into doing “soul numbing” tasks of following protocols and procedures.
Sadly, many who entered the field wanting to “do good” leave feeling defeated and thinking that they did not make any positive contribution to their clients’ lives.
I have sometimes been asked what has kept me on this vocational path for over four decades. Some of my enquirers probably are unaware of the detours I have taken. Like the year where, after more than 10 years working as a counsellor, I left to join the corporate world. It was there that I saw the focus was not on helping the individual but on maximising shareholders’ gains.
That difficult year away taught me some valuable lessons, such as discovering which things would give my life meaning and satisfaction. I concluded that helping others gives me real joy. The helping does not need to involve doing big things like saving a marriage; it could even be as simple as buying tissue paper from the old aunty in the hawker centre. Doing good deeds gives me a “kick”, a sense of meaning and purpose.
Realistically, not all of us are able to do jobs that help others, like being teachers or nurses. I do believe, however, that in every job are opportunities to show compassion—like helping your colleague when her computer crashes or when you have a plaster for someone with a blister.
As for those well-intentioned but disillusioned social workers and counsellors, are they not involved in doing good? Being in a position that allows you to do some good is often not enough. Intention needs to be coupled with appropriate actions and outcome. As many in the helping professions know, good outcomes are not always achieved. Much depends on so many factors other than the helper’s competency. What is more, the growth and change we are targeting often happen in slow and oftentimes imperceptible degrees.
Another factor that eats away at one’s idealised optimism is that the helping professions are often governed by more than good intentions. There are procedures to follow, criteria to be applied and red tape to be navigated.
Fortunately, for most of my working life, I have been allowed to do my work in a way that is aligned with my values and beliefs. This I found is the true north that has guided my career decisions and informed some of my day-to-day choices. It breathes life into my work. As long as I go by my Utara, keeping close to my true north, I know that I am close to watering holes where my soul can be replenished.
What are the personal values that define you? Some of us might have to dig deep, maybe as far back as our school years. Perhaps, they were shaped by your parents, major life experiences or your faith? Some of us feel strongly about justice, fairness, compassion, etc. These values are often life- and energy-giving. Other values like getting ahead, personal gain, efficiency, etc. are sadly self-diminishing. If you know of someone who has lost their way, perhaps it is time to point them back to their Utara.