At The Well

Like the Samaritan woman from John 4, we too may experience troubles in our relationships or encounter people who lead us away from how we hope to live.

Life-giving encouragement centred on God’s word brings hope and reconciliation. MM’s panel of counsellors will answer your relationship questions. Would you come and chat with us?

VIEW QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS BY TOPIC

Latest

(most recent article of all four categories)

Family

My daughter wants to give up on a prestigious university degree

My 21-year-old daughter is currently studying in a university overseas. She managed to enter a prestigious course that is difficult to get into and we were all very happy when she got selected. She is now in her third year of the course with one more year to go before she graduates. During her holidays, she came back home and shared that she did not want to continue her studies. She said she realised that she had no interest in this course and cannot see herself going further. We were shocked. We tried to reason with her and persuade her to finish what she began, pointing out that she would end up with no degree and would have to start from scratch again. She refuses to listen and feels that we are pressuring her because we have paid so much for her overseas education and do not want our money wasted, rather than caring for what she feels. We are also worried that she will regret her decision later. After all, she wanted to do this course. What should we do?

Friendships

I keep paying for meals out with my friend

My new friend and I are from vastly different cultures, but we see eye to eye on most things. We are both students and when we go out, we are supposed to take turns to pay for meals. But I’ve noticed that I am always the one paying. Should I say something? It’s not that I don’t want to be generous. I just don’t want to be taken advantage of. Furthermore, he comes from a much wealthier family than I do.

Dating & Marriage

Dating a non-Christian

I’ve dated a few Christians in the past, but things did not work out due to various reasons such as not being financially stable and having cultural differences. Recently, I started dating a Thai lady. She is not of the same faith. I understand that as a Christian, we should not be unequally yoked. If both parties are serious and committed to work things out, should I continue dating her? I know there will be many obstacles ahead, such as my parents, who I think will object to a daughter-in-law of a different faith and nationality.

At the Workplace

My colleague is now my boss

I am an office worker in my 40s, in a four-member SME team. My boss resigned recently and one of my colleagues will be promoted to oversee the team. I am more senior and experienced than her and have been in the company for a longer time. I recognise that she will be able to fill the role of a manager but I am not sure if I am able to change my perspective from relating to her as a colleague to seeing her as my boss. I know that I should submit to the authority within the company structure but feel there is some unfairness in the promotion process and am not convinced she’s the best person for the job. What should I do?


Our Panellists


Benny Bong

Benny Bong has been a family and marital therapist for nearly 40 years. Besides providing counselling, he also coaches social workers, counsellors, and has worked with numerous organisations in his capacity as a trainer and consultant. Benny is the author of Couples in Crisis: How to Avoid Common Pitfalls in Your Marriage, which was published in 2008. Benny has helmed the You & Your Family column in Methodist Message for more than 17 years. He is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Rev Tay Li Ping

Rev Tay Li Ping is currently pastoring at Christalite Methodist Chapel. She is married to Joseph, her college sweetheart, and they have five sons—three biological, one adopted and one foster. Before becoming a pastor, Rev Tay was an Industrial-Organisational Psychologist with the Ministry of Defence, and was a stay-at-home mum for a period of time. Rev Tay is particularly interested in the intersection of Psychology and Spirituality / Theology.

Koh Ai Jin

Koh Ai Jin is a registered clinical counsellor and clinical supervisor with the Singapore Association for Counselling. She has extensive experience in marriage and family counselling, and addressing mental health concerns and psychological trauma. Passionate about both counselling and Christian ministry, Ai Jin has worked in church settings for over a decade, was previously a polytechnic lecturer and now serves as Vice-President of the Association of Christian Counsellors (Singapore). She is married to a Methodist pastor and they have three teenage children.

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