Dating & Marriage Archives - The Methodist Church in Singapore

Dating & Marriage

I cannot go on any longer in this marriage

1 May 2025

I have been married for more than 30 years. I do not have a healthy relationship with my husband as he tends to be critical and even verbally abusive. I’ve wanted to divorce him many times over the years but didn’t because I know God does not want divorce and I stayed on because of the children. I bear with him because he came from a broken family and perhaps doesn’t know better. Now that my children are grown up and things have not changed, I am thinking that I should think about myself in my later years. In fact, my children have encouraged me to leave my husband because of how he treats me. I have suggested going for counselling but my husband is not open to that. Even when I tried to explain how I felt, he ends up blaming me. I feel that I cannot go on any longer in this marriage and don’t know what to do. ~ Exhausted

Is it possible to remarry in a Methodist church?

1 May 2025

I’m a divorcee and I’m looking to get married again. My ex-wife and I divorced because of her money habits. She had lent various people/family members over $40k without telling me and had issues about saving money, amongst other issues that led to mental neglect. Our divorce was not due to infidelity.
Now, I have found someone that I would like to settle down with and give marriage a second try. Would it be okay for us to get married in a Methodist church? Would a Methodist pastor be able to solemnise our wedding? If not, would it be okay to use the church hall but have a non-Methodist pastor solemnise our wedding? ~ Joseph

My husband is “fighting his feelings” towards another woman—is this infidelity?

1 April 2025

My husband of 25 years told me he fell in love with someone my daughter’s age. He says he has never felt this way before. I consider this infidelity. He does not because he says he is fighting his feelings. I am so hurt. Is he right? Am I too sensitive? How can I be with a man who doesn’t love me but loves someone else? ~ Broken

Is it okay for my husband to give his female colleague a ride to work frequently?

1 March 2025

My husband and I have been married for seven years and we have two children. Recently, I found out that he has been giving a female colleague a ride to work frequently. I found this out by accident when I saw a message coming into his phone which was left on the table, confirming pick-up time. When I asked my husband about it, he said this colleague lives along the way to the office and her husband was unable to send her to work on some days. He claimed that he picked her up only occasionally and he was just being helpful. I do not feel comfortable with this arrangement and told him so. Instead of respecting my wishes, he accused me of being controlling and insecure. I also found out that after a business trip they would share a taxi back together as our homes are close. While this sounds convenient, I am not comfortable with the thought. What should I do? Am I being difficult? ~ Concerned

If a spouse agrees to divorce, would it mean he doesn’t believe that God can heal the marriage?

1 January 2025

From what I understand, divorce is permissible if one party commits adultery and wants to divorce their legal spouse. If the spouse agrees to the divorce, would it mean he/she does not believe that God can heal the marriage? On the other hand, if the spouse does not agree to the divorce, is he/she being stubborn and overly optimistic? In what circumstances would God not want the spouse to divorce the party who continues to commit adultery? ~ Wondering

My wife does not want more children, but I do

1 December 2024

My wife and I have a three-year-old son. I was hoping to have another child so that my son may have a companion and someone to share his burdens with, especially when we are in our old age. However, my wife is not keen on it due to various reasons. I am concerned that by the time she might be ready to have a second child, it would be too late as we are both in our late 30s. What should I do in this situation? How should I adjust my thinking to accept that we would only have one child? ~ Concerned Dad

Should I continue dating a narcissist?

1 October 2024

I’m in my 30s and currently seeing a guy in his late 40s. I really enjoy his company and he is wonderful in many aspects. However, he displays some narcissistic traits and has inflated his credentials and background. He lied about his age and had two previous marriages which he did not disclose. I get the sense that he might be insecure and may have been hurt by his previous relationships. Should I continue seeing him? How can I encourage him to be truthful? Can I truly love someone who is broken and a narcissist?

My wife says she is “okay” but doesn’t want to talk about masturbation

1 August 2024

I read the question and answer on masturbation in At The Well, MM Feb 2024. My wife has medical issues, therefore she’s okay with it. I do only think of her in this. But we’ve talked about it, and she wants me to leave her alone about it. Help.

Can a divorcee remarry in a Methodist church?

1 August 2024

My friend (a Catholic) divorced her husband because he had lied to her regarding a loan shark. For more than four years, she faced a horrible life in debt. She managed to help him and save him from the debt, but she couldn’t forgive his behaviour and was traumatised by the experience. Now, after years of trauma and trust issues, she is interested in a Methodist guy and wants to remarry. Will this be allowed in Methodist churches?

My wife is discouraged by our lack of success with IVF

1 July 2024

My wife and I have been trying to have a child for several years. We have tried IVF but so far have not been successful. The whole process has not only been costly, but also emotionally draining and stressful for our relationship.