Relationships

Do I bring my daughter to visit a friend whose adult child has a live-in partner of the same sex in their home?

A friend has a daughter who is lesbian and has a live-in partner … in my friend’s home. My friend is Christian but her daughter is not. My question is not about my friend’s or her daughter’s choices, but mine, as a parent. Should we bring along my primary-school aged daughter to visit her during Christmas and Chinese New Year, as we used to do? Part of me does not want to expose my daughter to a non-Christian model of family, but yet, to shield her from it seems futile. ~ Awkward

My recently widowed father is dating a woman who is younger than me

I am in my 40s and married with teenage children. My mother passed away from illness about six months ago. Recently, I found out that my 75-year-old father is dating a foreign lady who is younger than me. He introduced her to us at a family dinner and privately told us that that he plans to let her move into our family home. He then asked me to clear out my old room so she could move her things in. I was very angry and upset. I also do not feel comfortable with this lady, and I feel suspicious of her. I expressed caution to my father, but he is totally caught up with her. I understand my father is grieving, lonely and seeks companionship, but I want to protect him from being taken advantage of. ~ Suspicious

When honouring one parent upsets the other

Honouring our parents is the fifth of the Ten Commandments. While some of us may struggle with keeping this commandment completely and constantly, my client had a particularly tough challenge—how to honour one parent without upsetting the other.

Is an Advance Medical Directive appropriate for Christians?

Is an Advance Medical Directive (AMD) allowed in a biblical world view, if we acknowledge that God is in control of our lives? I am going for a surgery and want to be prepared so that my family does not have to face difficult decisions or financial burdens as I am already in my senior years. ~ Singaporean senior

If a spouse agrees to divorce, would it mean he doesn’t believe that God can heal the marriage?

From what I understand, divorce is permissible if one party commits adultery and wants to divorce their legal spouse. If the spouse agrees to the divorce, would it mean he/she does not believe that God can heal the marriage? On the other hand, if the spouse does not agree to the divorce, is he/she being stubborn and overly optimistic? In what circumstances would God not want the spouse to divorce the party who continues to commit adultery? ~ Wondering

P4 son is asking for a mobile phone

My son has been asking me for a mobile phone after seeing his peers owning one. He is in Primary 4 and I only intend to get him one when he is in Upper Secondary. How should I educate him that he can own a mobile phone but only when he is much older? ~ Wondering Father

My friend keeps cancelling our meetups

I have a friend who keeps postponing our meetups. Each time, she will say that she is busy with her work or she has prior engagements. I usually find myself the one who initiates. Even when she makes plans, she doesn’t follow through. Should I continue to ask this friend out? ~ Tired Girl

Breaking up before breaking down

A woman in her late twenties sought counselling for her relationship with her boyfriend. In their nine years together, they were twice on the verge of breaking up. On both occasions, she initiated it because of his addiction to pornography. The woman was torn between her unhappiness over his habit* and her feelings for him. These feelings were kept going by his promises to kick the habit and his threat to harm himself if she left him.

Too close for comfort

My 12-year-old son is very close to me. As his mother, I love him but I do not like the way he clings to me sometimes. Some days when he wants my attention, he grabs my arm and pulls me towards him. As he is getting bigger, I feel tired trying to resist the force of his movements. When he is chastised for disobeying instructions for instance, instead of rectifying his behaviour, he asks me to hug him first. It feels like he’s trying to evade or delay punishment and sometimes I tell him to do what he has to do before coming for a hug. This makes him upset and he has told me before that he feels hurt when I refuse to hug him. I am tired from the physical and emotional demands even though I love him. What can I do to make him understand that I would like some personal space without making him feel rejected? ~ Drained

Mind your neighbours

An elderly Chinese lady, whom we shall call Sally, contacted the social service agency she frequented for exercise classes to report a concern. Sally said that she had not seen her neighbour—a single, Indian lady a few years younger—for a few days and efforts to call on her went unanswered.

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