I’m a divorcee and I’m looking to get married again. My ex-wife and I divorced because of her money habits. She had lent various people/family members over $40k without telling me and had issues about saving money, amongst other issues that led to mental neglect. Our divorce was not due to infidelity.
Now, I have found someone that I would like to settle down with and give marriage a second try. Would it be okay for us to get married in a Methodist church? Would a Methodist pastor be able to solemnise our wedding? If not, would it be okay to use the church hall but have a non-Methodist pastor solemnise our wedding?
Joey says
Dear Joseph,
There isn’t a uniform position on divorce and remarriage across the board for Methodist pastors. Whether or not a Methodist pastor will be willing to conduct your wedding depends on his/her personal conviction.
Most pastors recognise that while God designed marriage to be a lifelong covenant, there are biblical grounds on which divorce—though not recommended—may be permissible. Scripture speaks of divorce being permitted when there is sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32; Matthew 19:9) or when there is abandonment (1 Corinthians 7:15). Some pastors hold to the view that if the wedding vows are violated, the covenant is null and void. For instance, if there is abuse (emotional, mental or physical), it violates the vow to “have and to hold” and to “love and cherish”. Some may also recognise neglect (Exodus 21:10-11) as another acceptable grounds for divorce.
Pastors also hold differing views on whether remarriage is permissible. Some hold to the view that while divorce is acceptable, remarriage is not as long as the former spouse is alive, as only death releases them from the marriage covenant (Romans 7:3, 1 Corinthians 7:39). Others believe that our God is a God of second chances, and having had a broken marriage —especially when one is on the receiving end of infidelity, abandonment or neglect—does not preclude one from remarriage.
My recommendation is for you to speak with the pastor you’d like to have conduct your wedding about your intention to remarry to find out his/her position. If (s)he is agreeable to conducting your wedding, (s)he will also likely want to assess how ready you are for remarriage and prepare you to have a resilient and healthy marriage.
