I have two best friends since secondary school. But both have hurt me deeply through their actions and words. They can’t seem to be there for me when I need them, and they only speak about their problems and do not care about my problems. Each time my friends hurt me, I will distance myself from them but they will apologise and I will return to them. I feel tired emotionally. Should I still be friends with my secondary school mates despite them hurting me? But I know that they will never badmouth me as they love me.
Friendships
I seem to have lost a friend
I have always looked up to a sister from a former church. She is an intercessor like me and I learned from her spiritual insights. I am an introvert; she has been my only best friend for the past 40 years. We meet once a year over Christmas. When her husband passed away 10 years ago, my friend slowly changed her behaviour. She became forceful and assertive over time. Last year she abruptly broke off the friendship and we didn’t meet at Christmas. I have been praying for God to restore our friendship but my prayer is still unanswered. I am hurting over the loss of a cherished friendship. My faith in God is badly shaken. Emotionally and spiritually, I feel rejected, lonely and vulnerable. It’s hard to make new friends.
Must old friendships end when new friends appear?
I have a close friend from secondary school whom I used to hang out with a lot. Recently, she seems uninterested in spending time with me and has started spending more time with her colleagues. She told me that I need to look for new friends. I feel hurt because I thought we were friends and we had supported each other through several difficult times in our friendship. I do have other friends, but I don’t understand why some friendships have to end just because new friends appear.
My friend is always late and on the phone when she’s with me
I have been friends with G for over ten years and our families are close. Lately, I am realising that G has not matured much despite us being in our early 30s. She is perpetually late (15 – 40 minutes), always on her phone, and defensive if you point this out. When we meet, she tends to unload her worries without asking how I am doing. She complains constantly about her job and love life even though I can see that sometimes it is her own fault. While there has been no major falling-out between us, I realise more and more she is someone I do not want to be friends with, as I have become busier with my own life. Is it wrong to want to cut her out of my life?
Is it weird I don’t have a BFF?
I have a couple of good friends, some that I can share things with. However, I do not have a best friend. Also, though I have many friends from different social circles whom I meet with occasionally, I don’t have one particular close-knit group that I often hang out with. I have been wondering for years: Is it normal not to have a best friend at all, or a close-knit social circle? Is there anything wrong with me or my personality?
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