Retiree Alice Cheng, 65, recalls the stressful, anxious nights spent lying in bed, straining her ears to listen for any cries for help from her late father during his final months. As his primary caregiver, Alice endured immense physical, mental and emotional strain while caring for him through end-stage Parkinson’s disease.
“I think I developed post-traumatic stress disorder from those months of constant anxiety and straining to listen for him. I can still feel the tension in my neck and ears,” she shared. “Caring for my late father was immensely stressful and heartbreaking.”
Simultaneously, Alice was also the primary caregiver to her mother, who has early-stage dementia. This double burden led to her experiencing frequent bouts of depression.
“I often asked the Lord, ‘Why me?’” she tearfully shared, reflecting on her lonely and arduous caregiving journey. Alice’s three brothers, all married with families, support by sharing caregiving costs and visiting occasionally.
“I reasoned that maybe God didn’t plan for me to marry so I could care for my parents,” said Alice. “Sometimes, when my mum is being difficult, I joke about finding someone to marry and moving out.”
Due to her dementia, Mrs Cheng displayed symptoms such as memory loss, confusion, behavioural changes like refusing to leave the house and inability to perform everyday tasks. Alice, tending to her mother’s every need with little respite, became socially withdrawn and developed caregiver burnout. After her father’s passing last year, Alice also struggled with the emotional weight of grief and bereavement.
“When my father passed, I missed him dearly but felt relieved at not having to endure another stressful night or see him in pain. Unless someone has walked this journey, they can’t understand how lonely, stressful and dark solo caregiving can be,” Alice said.
An answered prayer
To encourage her mother to be more active, Alice tried getting her to join activities at the nearby MWS Active Ageing Centre – Golden Lily@Pasir Ris (GLAAC). When her mother refused to leave the house, MWS GLAAC staff arranged for volunteers to visit and engage her in dementia-friendly activities, including childhood games like five stones and pick-up sticks.
Seeing her mother enjoy time with the volunteers greatly encouraged Alice, who saw it as a sign of a God who listens. “They are an answered prayer,” she said. “God didn’t take my burdens away but sent help through my family, church mates and MWS. During the time when MWS volunteers engage my mother, I can take a much-needed breather. It means a lot to know I’m not alone.”
For 76-year-old Mdm Wong Lee Fong, a single retiree battling breast cancer, loneliness and social isolation began when she had to live alone. For decades, she lived with her nephew’s family, helping to raise his three daughters. However, the family made the difficult decision to emigrate to Australia in search of a better life.
Before emigrating, Mdm Wong’s nephew and his wife wanted to ensure she would be cared for, especially given her health condition. They found MWS Active Ageing Centre – GreenTops@Sims Place (GTAAC) in the neighbourhood.
Since then, MWS GTAAC staff have been assisting Mdm Wong with tasks like booking transportation for medical check-ups, monitoring her blood pressure and arranging cleaning services as she is too weak to do household chores. They also connected her with a befriender couple who checks in daily, brings her meals and helps with errands. Additionally, Mdm Wong regularly participates in activities at GTAAC, such as morning exercises, cooking classes and craft-making, keeping her active and socially engaged.
“Being alone can be scary. I used to feel anxious about leaving the house, not knowing who to turn to if something happened,” shared Mdm Wong, who has a history of falls from dizzy spells. “Now, I can count on MWS staff. There were times when I’ve had dizzy spells while running errands, and I called them for assistance. It gives me a deep sense of peace knowing that someone is here for me.”
Gift seniors with the warmth of a community today
For seniors like Mdm Wong and Mdm Cheng, who face loneliness and mental health struggles, MWS’ regular support brings comfort and positivity into their lives. With 22 centres and programmes across the island, MWS partners the community to provide integrated and holistic care for seniors with different levels of frailty, as well as youth, children and families, regardless of race or religion.
By the MWS Communications Team. / Photos courtesy of MWS