Mdm Sun Chun Yan was just 37 years old when she stepped into the role of full-time caregiver to her husband, Mr Sim Chek Kwang, after a stroke left him paralysed on his right side.
“My husband was a dental surgeon then. He collapsed in the middle of performing a procedure,” Mdm Sun, now 54, recalled. “The stroke was so severe that surgery wasn’t an option, and the doctors told me to prepare for his funeral.”
Following the stroke, Mr Sim was bedbound and dependent on a feeding tube. “I prayed, ‘Jesus, if you give him life, let him enjoy food again,” Mdm Sun said. “After 40 days, he could eat porridge, and after 70 days, he was discharged. A hundred days later, he stood and began walking with a stick. But he hasn’t spoken since.”
“I couldn’t see God”
That was back in 2007—six years after the couple had tied the knot. They first met in 1999 while they were doing missionary work overseas.
The tragedy dramatically changed their lives. Mdm Sun found herself now having to assist her husband with daily living activities and cope with his emotional outbursts and tantrums.
“I asked God to either heal my husband or take him away,” she recalled. “But God reminded me that my role is to love and honour my husband, and his grace would sustain me.”
Faith and resilience have carried Mdm Sun through 17 years of caregiving, especially after her husband’s second stroke in 2022.
However, when her husband, now 73, suffered a fall earlier this year that hastened his physical decline, the weight of caregiving finally became too much for her to bear alone.
Sinking into deep depression, Mdm Sun confided in her social worker, “I want to jump off the highest building in Singapore.” Months passed with her confined to bed, crying for hours each day, utterly drained and overwhelmed by hopelessness.
“It was the lowest point of my life,” Mdm Sun recalled. “I felt I’d lost my faith and couldn’t see God. I’d always been mentally resilient—with no job and income, even when I had to go hungry, God was my ‘light’. But this time, that ‘light’ went out.”
“I saw God’s love”
It was then that Mdm Sun confided in a close friend from her church, Covenant Community Methodist Church (CCMC), and a staff member from Methodist Welfare Services (MWS) learnt about her situation.
On the MWS staff’s advice, Mdm Sun obtained a polyclinic referral for Mr Sim, leading to his enrolment with MWS Home Care & Home Hospice (HCHH).
Over six months, a multi-disciplinary team provided subsidised home medical and nursing care to manage Mr Sim’s chronic conditions, easing Mdm Sun’s caregiving and financial burdens. The medical team stabilised his health, while a physiotherapist helped him regain balance and walking confidence.
MWS medical social worker Yeo Chee Wei also supported Mdm Sun in managing the emotional challenges of caregiving, helping her build effective coping strategies.
“The first time I met Chee Wei, I broke down and cried for three hours. My deepest pain was feeling unseen, but Chee Wei and the MWS team understood my suffering—that alone was healing,” Mdm Sun shared.
“Through our sessions, I learnt to self- reflect, recognise unhealthy thoughts that contradicted my faith and adopt healthier thinking patterns. I learnt to trust in God more deeply. They supported me with prayer when I asked, which was a source of great comfort.”
The MWS HCHH team also collaborated with the CCMC pastoral staff to provide regular visits and prayer support for the couple.
“During the darkest moment of my life, I saw a glimmer of light and hope through MWS,” shared a visibly grateful Mdm Sun. “In the MWS team, I saw God’s love when I was broken and weary. I felt like a shattered cup, and they gently pieced me back together.”
“Adversity is a gift”
With his medical conditions stabilised and mobility improved, Mr Sim has been discharged from MWS HCHH. Now, with a quadstick and a helper’s support, he can walk short distances, attend church and enjoy outings.
Mdm Sun has emerged from caregiver burnout with a renewed commitment to both self-care and caring for her husband. “I take it day by day,” she shared. “As Romans 8:28 says, all things work together for good for those who love God. Whatever my situation, I know it’s for my good. I now feel more prepared to face future challenges, having learnt to prioritise self-care.”
Despite financial hardships, Mdm Sun has turned down well-paying job offers to stay by her husband’s side. “This marriage is a gift from God, and caring for my husband is my mission,” she said. “What he truly needs is love and companionship.”
This commitment has meant a frugal life for Mdm Sun, who describes it as “an arduous, tear-streaked journey of trusting God for our finances”.
Yet, she has found beauty in adversity, witnessing God’s hand in the kindness of friends and strangers. She recalled a moment in August last year when, with an empty fridge and no food, she prayed and fasted. Days later, a stranger at church handed her a red envelope with a four-figure sum, saying, “God asked me to give this to you.” She hadn’t shared her situation with anyone. She brought the envelope home, gave it to her husband and they cried in gratitude.
“Adversity is a gift,” Mdm Sun reflected. “Each struggle has brought blessings and provisions from God, teaching me that even in hardship, there is beauty.”
Shine the light of Jesus on those in need
Caregivers like Mdm Sun often endure immense, prolonged stress that takes a toll on their mental and physical well-being. At MWS, we believe supporting our beneficiaries means also caring for their caregivers—attending to their emotional, spiritual and financial needs. Partner with us to bring the unshakeable hope of Christ to those who feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel. To learn more about our work, visit www.mws.sg, or scan the QR Code to donate.
If you need mental or emotional support, reach out via these helplines, online services or support centres
MENTAL WELL-BEING
Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1767
SOS CareText: 9151 1767 (via WhatsApp)
Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800 283 7019
Institute of Mental Health (IMH): 6389 2222
CHAT by IMH (for ages 16 to 30): 6493 6500 / 6493 6501
Silver Ribbon Singapore: 6386 1928
SUPPORT FOR SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL ISSUES
Family Service Centres (FSCs): You can locate your nearest FSC by entering your postal code on this website:
www.msf.gov.sg/our-services/directories.
FAMILY COUNSELLING AND MARRIAGE/DIVORCE SUPPORT
Online Counselling on Family Assist: https://familyassist.msf.gov.sg/content/resources/ programmes/online-counselling/
Strengthening Families Programme@Family Service Centre (FAM@FSC): You can locate your nearest FAM@FSC by entering your postal code on this website: www.msf.gov.sg/our-services/directories.
For emergency assistance or medical services, please contact Emergency Medical Services at 995.
By the Methodist Welfare Services Communications Team/ Photos courtesy of Methodist Welfare Services