I am friends with a couple and have known the husband and wife for nearly a decade now. On the outside, they look like the perfect couple—stable jobs, great kids, nice house, God-fearing family. However, both the husband and wife confide in me separately and share their deepest, darkest secrets with me. They do not know that I am hearing both sides of their stories. I have told them to talk to each other in my separate chats, or to consider couples counselling. How should I tell them I do not want to be involved and that it’s too much for me? ~ Friend in the middle
Friendships
My friends laugh at me and avoid me
I am an 11-year-old. I have a small group of friends but recently they have been hanging out with my ex-friend. Sometimes they laugh at me and avoid me. Should I confront them or just stay quiet? ~ Lonely
My friend keeps cancelling our meetups
I have a friend who keeps postponing our meetups. Each time, she will say that she is busy with her work or she has prior engagements. I usually find myself the one who initiates. Even when she makes plans, she doesn’t follow through. Should I continue to ask this friend out? ~ Tired Girl
My friends accuse me of things and fat-shame me
I had a big breakup with two of my secondary school friends. Since the start of the year, we had multiple one-sided arguments and they hurt me unknowingly (or maybe not). I stay in the northeast, and they stay in the central area. Once, they scolded me for not compromising to their request to meet in the central area, but most of the time, I do, in fact, meet them there. Recently, I gained a lot of weight due to health issues and they have been fat-shaming me, saying my ugliness and weight gain is the cause of my singleness. What should I do?
I keep paying for meals out with my friend
My new friend and I are from vastly different cultures, but we see eye to eye on most things. We are both students and when we go out, we are supposed to take turns to pay for meals. But I’ve noticed that I am always the one paying. Should I say something? It’s not that I don’t want to be generous. I just don’t want to be taken advantage of. Furthermore, he comes from a much wealthier family than I do.
Can’t click with my cell group mates who are older
I’ve been attending cell group for a few years but the level of interaction is at acquaintance level and we usually just talk about the Bible. I’m the youngest in the cell group and the rest are clearly in a different phase of life. The topics the elderly talk about always centre around bodily pains and the married ones talk about their kids. I’m the only single and while I empathise with them, I feel like we do not have the same interests. It’s very difficult to click with them in a more intimate manner. I’ve tried visiting another cell group with people closer to my age, but it felt awkward. How do I build intimate relationship with cell group mates?
I get pushback when I tell my friend that she has hurt my feelings
When I express that I am hurt by what my friend says or does, she usually denies it and instead says I’m accusing her or that I’m being abusive. But I’m just expressing how I feel. How do I handle this?
What is the Christian view on seeking the help of temple mediums?
I’ve seen some friends who are non-believers fall sick and go to the temple to seek the advice of other gods (e.g. god of the tiger) about their sickness. The medium will talk in a way that is not his usual self and appear as if someone has entered his body. What is the Christian view on this? Is there really a god that can enter a person’s body and give advice?
Hard to make new friends and keep old ones as a 30-something guy
I find it hard to upkeep all my friendships. I have tried to reach out to my friends; however, the connection seems to have gone over the years. Even after trying, the friendships don’t seem to grow. Some of these friends, including church friends, do not share the same interests, or do not want to put in the effort. Do I continue to upkeep these friendships or try to make new ones? Any advice for guys to develop friendships in their 30s and beyond?
Cell group members not building relationships with one another
My cell group functions only when we meet and during church services. Outside of these times, most of the group members don’t seem to have friendships with one another. A few of us, including the cell leader and myself, are trying hard to keep the group going, but the other members are busy doing their own thing and not really involved. How can we improve this situation as it has been going on for some time? How do we keep on going, without feeling burnt out?
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