On a Monday afternoon, Wendy Foong steps into a flat in Hougang, where two teenage brothers, Aiden (not his real name), 15, and his 14-year-old sibling, are just waking from an afternoon nap. With practised ease, she begins tidying up—picking up an empty can and an instant noodle packet. Soon, Aiden joins her, folding clothes and washing dishes. “Don’t leave the tap running—you’ll waste water,” she reminds him.
It is the sort of exchange one might expect between a parent and child. But Wendy is not their mother.
As a volunteer befriender with MWS Covenant Family Service Centre (CFSC), the 52-year-old homemaker has spent the past year journeying alongside the two brothers and their 18-year-old sister. With their father in prison and their mother, a stroke survivor in long-term residential care, the siblings had been navigating life without proper adult supervision.
Drawn by compassion
A homemaker with three adopted children of her own, Wendy first learnt about the family through her church mate, Karen, a social worker at MWS CFSC who was supporting Aiden’s sister. As tertiary education made it harder for the sister to care for her younger brothers, Karen began looking for a volunteer befriender. Moved by their circumstances, Wendy stepped forward.
The decision felt natural. Unable to have biological children due to a rare spinal condition, Wendy and her husband chose to adopt. Years of raising three adoptive children and battling with anxiety, rejection and insecurity issues had deepened her empathy and sharpened her sensitivity to the needs of others.
Befriending the teenagers felt like a natural extension of that journey—and an opportunity to fulfil a long-held desire to foster. “I have a lot of love to give,” she said.
From housekeeping to heart-to-heart talks
When Wendy first visited the siblings’ home, she was met with clutter, dust-coated furniture and piles of clothes strewn across the floor. “There was trash everywhere,” she recalled. “You had to move things just to find a place to sit.”
For the first few weeks, besides bringing meals and groceries, Wendy focused on cleaning the home—folding clothes, sweeping floors and clearing rubbish. Sometimes, her own children pitched in too.
Conversations began amid the housekeeping. Before long, she invited the brothers to join in the chores. As household skills were built, so too, was trust. “All these conversations happened while we were doing things together,” she said. “We talked about school, friends, family and life.” Slowly, the walls began to come down.
When stories spark conversation
Movies and television shows watched over lunch at Wendy’s home became an unexpected gateway to deeper conversations. “Movies open up opportunities to talk about a lot of things,” Wendy said. “They allow me to share my views on topics like friendships, relationships and boundaries, while also giving me a chance to hear what’s on their minds.”
One afternoon, while watching Ah Boys to Men, a scene about bullying struck a chord with Aiden. Living with autism, he often felt different from his peers and was ostracised at school. “Sometimes, people can’t handle differences, and discrimination happens,” he said. Years of bullying left him withdrawn and isolated. But having someone willing to listen made a difference. “Wendy told me that some things happen because of other people’s choices, and you can’t control them,” he said. “Once I got it off my chest, I felt much better. I used to feel very isolated, but now I have someone I can talk to about my worries and problems.”
More than a befriender
Over time, Wendy became a trusted adult in the teenagers’ lives. The brothers turn to her for advice on everything from school to matters of the heart, while their sister has formed a close friendship with Wendy’s youngest daughter and often stay over at their home.
Along the way, Wendy taught them everyday life skills—from cooking to etiquette and personal hygiene—even, as she put it, “telling them to use soap when they shower”.
Despite their deepening bond, Wendy is careful not to replace their mother. “I’m very conscious that I’m not their mother, and I want them to be close to their mother,” she said. To nurture that bond, Wendy would drive the siblings to visit their mother at the nursing home where she lives. “I’ve done that a few times just to assure their mother that I’m not here to steal her role,” Wendy said.
She even stopped taking the boys for haircuts after learning that their mother had brought them to a barber near the nursing home. “Now, I encourage them to go with their mother,” she said. “Whatever their mother can do with them, I’d rather she do it.”
A different kind of reward
Volunteering has not always been easy. There have been unanswered messages, missed appointments and moments of frustration. “It can be quite thankless,” Wendy admitted. “Many times, I’ve made the trip, only to find that they weren’t home.”
Yet she keeps showing up. “Ultimately, I tell myself I’m doing this unto the Lord, and the outcome isn’t mine to control,” she said. “I simply do what I feel called to do.”
Her motivation stems from gratitude. “I feel grateful to God, and this is my way of saying thank you in a practical way,” said Wendy, who also volunteers in several other capacities, including befriending the homeless. “For me, volunteering is less about doing things and more about being present with people. As a homemaker, I have the flexibility to be there when others need support, and that brings me far more fulfilment than making money.”
The greatest reward, she added, is simple: “Being there for people who might otherwise feel unseen, unheard or overlooked.”
Inspired to make a difference? Join us as an MWS volunteer. Visit www.mws.sg/volunteer or email volunteer@mws.sg.
By the Methodist Welfare Services Communications Team. / Photo courtesy of Methodist Welfare Services
