Relationships

Should I date my long-time friend who is twice divorced?

I’ve known Mr X for nearly 20 years and have seen him through two failed marriages. He is now a single parent with a young daughter, who I’m very close to. In our younger days, Mr X had expressed an interest in me but I made it clear that I was not keen in a romantic relationship with him; he respected my decision and so we remained platonic friends. Recently, his daughter asked if I can be her mummy, causing me to question my feelings for Mr X. We’ve matured together and have a comfortable relationship and I could see myself with him now, seeing this is a different kind of love and season. Should I talk to Mr X or keep my distance?

My colleague is now my boss

I am an office worker in my 40s, in a four-member SME team. My boss resigned recently and one of my colleagues will be promoted to oversee the team. I am more senior and experienced than her and have been in the company for a longer time. I recognise that she will be able to fill the role of a manager but I am not sure if I am able to change my perspective from relating to her as a colleague to seeing her as my boss. I know that I should submit to the authority within the company structure but feel there is some unfairness in the promotion process and am not convinced she’s the best person for the job. What should I do?

Hard to make new friends and keep old ones as a 30-something guy

I find it hard to upkeep all my friendships. I have tried to reach out to my friends; however, the connection seems to have gone over the years. Even after trying, the friendships don’t seem to grow. Some of these friends, including church friends, do not share the same interests, or do not want to put in the effort. Do I continue to upkeep these friendships or try to make new ones? Any advice for guys to develop friendships in their 30s and beyond?

From message to messenger

The 12 men came on stage as the opening item. Ranging in age from the early 40s to late 60s and dressed in blue jeans and T-shirts, they looked confident and determined. Linking arms they began to sway and sing to the tune of Robbin Williams’ song “A Better Man”. The lyrics, however, had been re-written by one of the men.

Why do Gen Zs seem to “ghost” older colleagues?

Why are Gen Zs unresponsive when older, more senior colleagues send messages to them on messaging platforms? Aren’t Gen Zs digital natives? Why are they “ghosting” us? The older colleagues see it as somewhat rude and unprofessional. Please help us understand them!

How to face death

I’m in my 80s. As seniors, we keep active, but there are moments when we reflect on our mortality. How should we face death which could come at any moment? What is heaven like?

Our lenses when looking at others: Where is the love?

As someone who has been involved in the cause of ending violence in the family for more than 30 years, I am somewhat gratified to see and hear of more people speaking out against toxic masculinity. This version of masculinity— the way some men think about themselves, their roles, values, behaviour and, more importantly, how they relate to women—is toxic or harmful to others, the community and themselves.

CNY gathering at stake with family tensions

CNY is when families gather, (re)unite and celebrate kinship bonds, like how my family used to over our reunion dinner. However, there’s been a growing rift between my dad and sister, and they’re hardly on speaking terms these days. My parents, both non-believers in their 70s, live with her and her family so it’s three generations under one roof. They disagree on nearly everything since their values and priorities differ. I’ve been praying that CNY might be a good time and place to reconcile but am not sure how to go about this.

Caught in between quarrelsome parents

As far as I can remember, my parents had a difficult marriage. They never divorced but stayed together for the sake of their children. They would quarrel very often and complain about each other to my siblings and me. They would not speak to each other for many days and would ask us to pass messages on their behalf. As children, we did as we were told. However, the pattern continues today even when I am married and have moved out. My father calls me to vent his frustration with my mother and asks me to speak to her on his behalf. I have told him several times that this is a matter between him and my mother and not to get the children involved. However, I can see that he is very troubled and has no one else to vent his frustration to. By continuing to listen to him and trying to mediate with my mother, am I really helping the situation or encouraging a wrong pattern of behaviour? My parents are not Christian.

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