You & Your Family

Walking to reinvigorate marriage

Over the last four years, around the middle of each year, around May and June, my wife and I have taken leave from work to do long walks together—about 20…

Still quarrelling? It is a good sign

I opened the counselling session with one of my usual questions to the couple: “How have things been?” The wife did not answer first; she wanted to see how her…

Broken marriage, not broken lives

As a family and marital therapist, I sometimes feel discouraged when working with a client who has decided to end their marriage. Like most of my professional peers, I see…

There is someone out there who cares

I once participated in a radio interview during which the presenter and I focused on the topic of emotional and psychological abuse by spouses. While some attention has been given…

Breaking old patterns

People are creatures of habit. Some habits, such as a habit of saving, serve us well. Others, like broken records, churn out the same tunes with annoying repetition. Some interpersonal conflicts resemble broken records. Although we see the futility of engaging in them, we seem powerless to resist the urge to be drawn into them.

Contradictions or truths

“But I am happy,” he said clearly and defiantly, his rigid posture and furrowed eyebrows betraying tension. Upon revealing his conviction that his wife of almost 20 years did not…

Christian cheer

The Christmas season draws out a mix of emotions. Many families celebrate Christmas with feasting and merrymaking. Others dread the rush to buy the obligatory presents. Still others may feel…

Different, not deviant

Of late, diversity has been a buzzword and is often seen as desirable. We see diversity in families too.  Within a family, there might be grandparents who belong to the…

Rituals and routines

She caught me right after service and confronted me with what seemed more like a statement than a question: “You crossed yourself. Are you Catholic?” I had made the sign…

Our footprints

The flight was unusually turbulent, with the seatbelt sign flashing frequently and the pilot urging everyone to stay seated. Due, perhaps, to having watched too many documentaries on air crash…
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