You & Your Family

You only live once

One of my roles in my job as counsellor is to be a clinical supervisor for counselling interns. As counsellors in training, they are given less complex cases to stretch…

Managing our sexual desires

Noting both the Old and New Testaments mention sexual sin, a client remarked, “Why is there so much sex in the Bible?” The Bible does talk about the dangers of…

Defending the helpless

On 17 March, the Straits Times reported a 30 per cent increase in child abuse cases in 2018 over the year before. Almost one in five of the cases involved…

Walking to reinvigorate marriage

Over the last four years, around the middle of each year, around May and June, my wife and I have taken leave from work to do long walks together—about 20…

Still quarrelling? It is a good sign

I opened the counselling session with one of my usual questions to the couple: “How have things been?” The wife did not answer first; she wanted to see how her…

Broken marriage, not broken lives

As a family and marital therapist, I sometimes feel discouraged when working with a client who has decided to end their marriage. Like most of my professional peers, I see…

There is someone out there who cares

I once participated in a radio interview during which the presenter and I focused on the topic of emotional and psychological abuse by spouses. While some attention has been given…

Breaking old patterns

People are creatures of habit. Some habits, such as a habit of saving, serve us well. Others, like broken records, churn out the same tunes with annoying repetition. Some interpersonal conflicts resemble broken records. Although we see the futility of engaging in them, we seem powerless to resist the urge to be drawn into them.

Contradictions or truths

“But I am happy,” he said clearly and defiantly, his rigid posture and furrowed eyebrows betraying tension. Upon revealing his conviction that his wife of almost 20 years did not…
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