I have Christian friends who are in a homosexual relationship, and they truly believe that God has blessed their relationship. I’m not sure how to respond when they share with me about their happy moments. How do I go about responding to them with love and without any judgment?
Sue-Lynn says
Dear Miss Clueless,
This sounds like a tricky situation to navigate. As a friend, you want them to feel like you love them and care for them. On the other hand, you know your stand as a Christian on homosexuality. That is, gender and sexual expression within the bounds of a monogamous, male-female marriage are part of God’s good, original design. Same sex attraction is one of the ways sexual brokenness manifests itself in a fallen world distorted by sin (read more on Methodist Social Principles, www.methodist.org.sg/social-principles/).
Firstly, pray in faith to God for wisdom (James 1:5-6, James 3:17) and commit your friends in prayer. Pray also for God to work in their lives to help them experience the transforming power of his grace and see his good and original design for man and woman.
Secondly, when they share about their happy relationship, briefly acknowledge it but try not to engage. This may mean swiftly switching to other related topics during conversations with them. If they sense your disengagement and you feel comfortable sharing, let them know of your stand: as a Christian, you love and fully acknowledge their worth and value as people but you are not able to affirm their homosexual relationship. Do note that this may be hard for your friends to hear because to them, their homosexual orientation encompasses their whole person—the mind, will, emotion and body. In other words, their entire identity is intrinsically linked to their sexual orientation. We all know that the only thing that can change that identity is the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
If they are willing to share, try to find out where the idea that God has blessed their relationship comes from and then guide them towards biblical truths: God created man in his own image (Genesis 1:27), and every human being was fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
There are also several Bible verses which talk about homosexuality as a sin (Romans 1:24-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9). Remember it is the Holy Spirit that convicts us of sin, and it is not your job to convince or convict. Be prepared that they will not be receptive at this time.
Standing firm in God’s truth, especially in our current world, is challenging. Nevertheless, take heart that we are called to speak the truth in love and stand firm in his teachings. Consider talking to your pastor to have a stronger understanding of the biblical view of homosexuality, before you have such a conversation with your friends. Books like Good News for Bruised Reeds: Walking with Same-Sex Attracted Friends (published by Graceworks, 2018) or Holy Sexuality and The Gospel (by Christopher Yuan, 2018) can help you on this journey.
