A lay leader, Andrew Chan, was pondering the topic of suffering when leading a Bible study on the Old Testament book of Job. He wanted a counsellor’s viewpoint and I shared my perspective with him.
The suffering documented in the book of Job presents questions about suffering and how we as humans respond or should respond. As a therapist approaching this question, I am assuming that the person who is suffering, in this instance Job, had no choice in the matter. His suffering is not volitional but is a response to what is done to him. Nevertheless, there are a number of ways of responding to what befalls us.
To seek a quick end to it is a natural response. Job’s response was to ask for an end to his suffering and he did not revel in it. Sigmund Freud, often seen as the Father of Psychology, spoke of humankind being driven by the Pain-Pleasure Principle, i.e. man’s actions aim to minimise pain and maximise pleasure.
Another natural response, especially if escape from suffering is not possible, is to cry out and perhaps even curse whoever we think may have caused it. In Job’s case, he lamented, and even questioned God, who he believed either caused or allowed these events to befall him. However, he did not curse God.
How are we to understand Job’s reluctance to be angry with God?
Psychology has another theory to explain such actions. Abraham Maslow presented a hierarchy of human needs where individuals’ actions serve to meet their needs, beginning from the most basic survival needs to higher order needs. If this is true, then should Job not have focused on his survival needs since these were in a dire state?
This is when exceptions come into play. Some individuals, from time to time, forgo their more basic needs in order to fulfil their higher order needs. The highest of these needs is Self-Actualisation, which can roughly equate to Self-Fulfilment or living according to one’s values, beliefs, etc. We have the examples of zealots who sacrifice their lives in order not to deny their faith. Or those who subject their bodies to endure long hours of physical and mental strain and suffering to complete endurance races. Could Job’s response reflect his understanding of who God is, the purpose of such events and/ or how one should respond to them?
Of course, Job’s example is indeed beyond admirable since he lost much. From a psychological viewpoint, his response was within the realm of the exceptional, but it was nevertheless sound and rational.
I am also reminded of the example of David in the Old Testament, who was a fugitive before he became king. Pursued by King Saul, David and his followers were on the run for their lives. Once, he found himself faced with an opportunity to strike King Saul down but decided not to. To kill Saul would have ended David’s life on the run and even opened the way to usurping the throne. But David resisted because he held himself to a higher principle.
I believe that David’s firm understanding of who God is, his personal nature and his relationship with God helped him to stand unwavering even in hardship. David was very self-aware, of how he coveted another man’s wife and had him killed in order to have her. In light of this, he did not think that he could demand anything from God and saw himself as undeserving of God’s mercy and grace. It is precisely in this position that the Lord lifted him up.
So when the Lord seems slow to answer and provide an end to our suffering, could it be that we are asking not in the posture of someone pleading for help, but as someone demanding things to be made right our way and on our time?
While we may be suffering for a higher cause (for example, enduring the hurtful unjust criticisms of a family member in order to maintain family harmony), I do not believe that it is the Lord’s will for such a situation to persist. We should not stay in it just because we draw some perverse pleasure in the suffering, perhaps to prove what a martyr we are.
If you are undergoing prolonged distress, know that the Lord takes no pleasure in seeing you in this state. Ask for it to end, or at the very least, to be given strength to endure. Ask, plead—but not demand—while acknowledging that we deserve nothing. Finally, consider too what lessons may be drawn from the experience.
Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars. Benny has helmed the You & Your Family column for more than 19 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.