My child is doing decently in school. However, she feels insecure about not having tuition, as many of her peers do. We can afford it; I’m just not sure she needs it. Yet, it’s become a sore point, and I wonder if she sees it as our lack of support. Maybe she is the ambitious type and won’t settle until she is the top of the pack? What should I do?
Dear Tuition Nation,
Find a good time to chat with your daughter to explore the underlying reasons why she wants tuition (e.g. what does it mean to get “good grades”, what she thinks of herself if she does or does not get those “good grades”). Then, share with her your point of view and perhaps explore alternatives to tuition (e.g. developing more effective study and/or time management skills, getting guidance from her teachers or you/your spouse).
Next, help her understand the implications of having tuition (i.e. additional hours needed for tuition and tuition homework, whether she can manage it on top of her school schedule and other commitments). Finally, if you both decide to go ahead with tuition, narrow down the specific subject or subject areas she wants to focus on, prioritise them in order of importance and decide on one or two tuition classes to start with. Prayerfully commit the joint decision to God and ask for continued wisdom and guidance. Her progress can be monitored and checkpoints set (e.g. mid-year, year-end) to reassess whether it is beneficial to continue with the tuition.
It is also important to continue to assure her that her inherent value does not lie in the grades she gets, but who she is in Christ and who she is as your child.