My son has been asking me for a mobile phone after seeing his peers owning one. He is in Primary 4 and I only intend to get him one when he is in Upper Secondary. How should I educate him that he can own a mobile phone but only when he is much older?
Sue-Lynn says
Dear Wondering Father,
Using a “+ and -” list as a visual, discuss the pros and cons of owning a smartphone. Listen to his views on the pros. He may share reasons like staying connected with his friends (e.g. via WhatsApp), playing online games with them etc. Explore alternatives like inviting his friends over or play online games on the computer.
Educate him on the cons he might be unaware of (e.g. screen time addiction, the inability to self-monitor at this age and stick to the limits, cyberbullying, exposure to inappropriate content, online “stranger danger”, health issues like poorer sleep quality, eye strain etc.). As a Christian parent, explain how the online world generally promotes worldly, even anti-Christian, values.
Re-establish your role as a parent to protect and keep him safe until he is older and more mature, with better skills to navigate the online world. This can be hard as he might respond with feelings of frustration, anger and unfairness. Again, validate his emotions with kindness (e.g. “I know you feel angry about not owning a smartphone yet”) and reiterate your stance firmly. If needed, explain the conditions, before you’ll consider getting him a smartphone when he is older (e.g. consistently keep to the current screen time limits, agree on parental controls, download only agreed-upon apps etc.). You can negotiate another time to revisit this agreement.
