I have a close friend from secondary school whom I used to hang out with a lot. Recently, she seems uninterested in spending time with me and has started spending more time with her colleagues. She told me that I need to look for new friends. I feel hurt because I thought we were friends and we had supported each other through several difficult times in our friendship. I do have other friends, but I don’t understand why some friendships have to end just because new friends appear.
Relationships
Dealing with my mother’s bipolar disorder
I’ve had to deal with my mother’s mood swings for the past 16 years since she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and prior to that, with her depressive episodes since my father passed away in my teens. Often, to preserve my own sanity and protect my children from the toxicity and negativity, I’ve chosen to keep a distance as each visit leaves me emotionally drained. I continue to care for her and maintain constant contact via text. But I am often made to feel guilty by well-meaning friends who feel I should spend more time with her. Where do I draw the line between honouring my mother, and caring for myself and my family?
My husband’s gaming addiction is affecting our family
For more than 20 years of marriage, my husband has struggled with addictions of different kinds. Currently (and for the most prolonged period), he is addicted to a mobile game that results in him having a device in front of him, at work, during meals or family game time. Even though he claims that the game is just “running in the background”, I feel it makes him less “present” and is affecting his ability to keep up with conversations in the household. It makes the children and me feel less valued. How can I help him to break this addiction without being a nag?
I can’t seem to end my affair
I have surprised myself by having a relationship with someone outside my marriage. I have tried to stop it but somehow it keeps continuing and sometimes I even feel that I have stopped loving my spouse. But my children are very dear to me, and I don’t know how they can manage all of these.
A more hands-on husband in the home please
I wish my husband was more hands- on in the home. We both work outside the home, but meal planning and household chores always fall on me. I’m not sure how it came to be like this, but I suppose I had always taken on this responsibility before the kids arrived. I have voiced my frustration, but his efforts are never consistent or sustained. What should I do?
How can I honour my mother who is trying to end my relationship with my fiancé?
My partner and I are in our mid-20s. We have been together for five years and are certain of our commitment to marry. My mom has made the wedding planning process a nightmare and eventually got us to cancel the wedding. Our relationship took a huge hit but we are working on it. My mom has overstepped her boundaries and undermined our decisions multiple times, even going to extreme ways like physically hurting herself. How do I draw the boundaries with my non-Christian mom and go ahead with our decision to get married?
Which scoundrel is beside you?
The biblical account of Jesus hanging on the cross, a cruel instrument of capital punishment the Roman Empire reserved for its worst criminals, tells of two others who were being crucified beside him. One of the criminals cried out to Jesus for mercy and forgiveness.
Should I blow the whistle on a colleague who trusts me?
My colleague was unhappy that I reported an error which occurred to my bosses. As per protocol, this involved listing the names of all of the personnel involved in the incident. He later confessed to me over text that he had not been reporting such incidents to my bosses due to fear of negative repercussions. I feel that this is not the right thing to do. Should I blow the whistle on this colleague to my supervisor?
Gentle parenting and corporal punishment
I’m a mother of a 2-year-old and have been reading about parenting and discipline as my child goes through the “terrible twos”. There has been growing popularity in positive or gentle discipline, where parents are advised not to carry out corporal (or physical) punishment. Some even advise not to say “no” to bad behaviour (such as hitting) but instead, ignore the bad behaviour or re-direct a child’s attention. Some also advise against telling our child to share their toys, fearing that it will result in a person who is unable to say “no” to others. What are your views on gentle parenting and corporal punishment? Can you advise on tried and tested ways to discipline a child in the way he should go?
Thinking of divorcing my abusive husband
My husband’s retrenchment six years ago and joblessness for the past three years have worsened his anger management issues. We attended marriage counselling for four years but the verbal abuse continued and there were two instances of physical abuse. Our young children are exposed to his violent nature and I can’t protect them. Is there room for divorce? Or will I be judged by God? I am trapped trying to protect his “gentle and kind” image in church, but the mental anxiety of living with him, inability to protect my children and the financial burden of being the sole breadwinner is taking its toll on me.
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