Friendships

Can’t click with my cell group mates who are older

I’ve been attending cell group for a few years but the level of interaction is at acquaintance level and we usually just talk about the Bible. I’m the youngest in the cell group and the rest are clearly in a different phase of life. The topics the elderly talk about always centre around bodily pains and the married ones talk about their kids. I’m the only single and while I empathise with them, I feel like we do not have the same interests. It’s very difficult to click with them in a more intimate manner. I’ve tried visiting another cell group with people closer to my age, but it felt awkward. How do I build intimate relationship with cell group mates?

What is the Christian view on seeking the help of temple mediums?

I’ve seen some friends who are non-believers fall sick and go to the temple to seek the advice of other gods (e.g. god of the tiger) about their sickness. The medium will talk in a way that is not his usual self and appear as if someone has entered his body. What is the Christian view on this? Is there really a god that can enter a person’s body and give advice?

Hard to make new friends and keep old ones as a 30-something guy

I find it hard to upkeep all my friendships. I have tried to reach out to my friends; however, the connection seems to have gone over the years. Even after trying, the friendships don’t seem to grow. Some of these friends, including church friends, do not share the same interests, or do not want to put in the effort. Do I continue to upkeep these friendships or try to make new ones? Any advice for guys to develop friendships in their 30s and beyond?

Cell group members not building relationships with one another

My cell group functions only when we meet and during church services. Outside of these times, most of the group members don’t seem to have friendships with one another. A few of us, including the cell leader and myself, are trying hard to keep the group going, but the other members are busy doing their own thing and not really involved. How can we improve this situation as it has been going on for some time? How do we keep on going, without feeling burnt out?

My friends keep hurting me

I have two best friends since secondary school. But both have hurt me deeply through their actions and words. They can’t seem to be there for me when I need them, and they only speak about their problems and do not care about my problems. Each time my friends hurt me, I will distance myself from them but they will apologise and I will return to them. I feel tired emotionally. Should I still be friends with my secondary school mates despite them hurting me? But I know that they will never badmouth me as they love me.

I seem to have lost a friend

I have always looked up to a sister from a former church. She is an intercessor like me and I learned from her spiritual insights. I am an introvert; she has been my only best friend for the past 40 years. We meet once a year over Christmas. When her husband passed away 10 years ago, my friend slowly changed her behaviour. She became forceful and assertive over time. Last year she abruptly broke off the friendship and we didn’t meet at Christmas. I have been praying for God to restore our friendship but my prayer is still unanswered. I am hurting over the loss of a cherished friendship. My faith in God is badly shaken. Emotionally and spiritually, I feel rejected, lonely and vulnerable. It’s hard to make new friends.

Must old friendships end when new friends appear?

I have a close friend from secondary school whom I used to hang out with a lot. Recently, she seems uninterested in spending time with me and has started spending more time with her colleagues. She told me that I need to look for new friends. I feel hurt because I thought we were friends and we had supported each other through several difficult times in our friendship. I do have other friends, but I don’t understand why some friendships have to end just because new friends appear.

My friend is always late and on the phone when she’s with me

I have been friends with G for over ten years and our families are close. Lately, I am realising that G has not matured much despite us being in our early 30s. She is perpetually late (15 – 40 minutes), always on her phone, and defensive if you point this out. When we meet, she tends to unload her worries without asking how I am doing. She complains constantly about her job and love life even though I can see that sometimes it is her own fault. While there has been no major falling-out between us, I realise more and more she is someone I do not want to be friends with, as I have become busier with my own life. Is it wrong to want to cut her out of my life?

Is it weird I don’t have a BFF?

I have a couple of good friends, some that I can share things with. However, I do not have a best friend. Also, though I have many friends from different social circles whom I meet with occasionally, I don’t have one particular close-knit group that I often hang out with. I have been wondering for years: Is it normal not to have a best friend at all, or a close-knit social circle? Is there anything wrong with me or my personality?

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