At The Well

My husband’s gaming addiction is affecting our family

For more than 20 years of marriage, my husband has struggled with addictions of different kinds. Currently (and for the most prolonged period), he is addicted to a mobile game that results in him having a device in front of him, at work, during meals or family game time. Even though he claims that the game is just “running in the background”, I feel it makes him less “present” and is affecting his ability to keep up with conversations in the household. It makes the children and me feel less valued. How can I help him to break this addiction without being a nag?

I can’t seem to end my affair

I have surprised myself by having a relationship with someone outside my marriage. I have tried to stop it but somehow it keeps continuing and sometimes I even feel that I have stopped loving my spouse. But my children are very dear to me, and I don’t know how they can manage all of these.

A more hands-on husband in the home please

I wish my husband was more hands- on in the home. We both work outside the home, but meal planning and household chores always fall on me. I’m not sure how it came to be like this, but I suppose I had always taken on this responsibility before the kids arrived. I have voiced my frustration, but his efforts are never consistent or sustained. What should I do?

How can I honour my mother who is trying to end my relationship with my fiancé?

My partner and I are in our mid-20s. We have been together for five years and are certain of our commitment to marry. My mom has made the wedding planning process a nightmare and eventually got us to cancel the wedding. Our relationship took a huge hit but we are working on it. My mom has overstepped her boundaries and undermined our decisions multiple times, even going to extreme ways like physically hurting herself. How do I draw the boundaries with my non-Christian mom and go ahead with our decision to get married?

Should I blow the whistle on a colleague who trusts me?

My colleague was unhappy that I reported an error which occurred to my bosses. As per protocol, this involved listing the names of all of the personnel involved in the incident. He later confessed to me over text that he had not been reporting such incidents to my bosses due to fear of negative repercussions. I feel that this is not the right thing to do. Should I blow the whistle on this colleague to my supervisor?

Gentle parenting and corporal punishment

I’m a mother of a 2-year-old and have been reading about parenting and discipline as my child goes through the “terrible twos”. There has been growing popularity in positive or gentle discipline, where parents are advised not to carry out corporal (or physical) punishment. Some even advise not to say “no” to bad behaviour (such as hitting) but instead, ignore the bad behaviour or re-direct a child’s attention. Some also advise against telling our child to share their toys, fearing that it will result in a person who is unable to say “no” to others. What are your views on gentle parenting and corporal punishment? Can you advise on tried and tested ways to discipline a child in the way he should go?

Thinking of divorcing my abusive husband

My husband’s retrenchment six years ago and joblessness for the past three years have worsened his anger management issues. We attended marriage counselling for four years but the verbal abuse continued and there were two instances of physical abuse. Our young children are exposed to his violent nature and I can’t protect them. Is there room for divorce? Or will I be judged by God? I am trapped trying to protect his “gentle and kind” image in church, but the mental anxiety of living with him, inability to protect my children and the financial burden of being the sole breadwinner is taking its toll on me.

My mother’s family tries to control my father and me

My mother’s family is very controlling. When she died, they even exerted influence and control over my father’s finances. After many years of therapy and counselling, I managed to cut ties completely with my mother’s family for the sake of my sanity as they were making unreasonable demands. How do I reconcile my forgiveness and not feel guilty about not maintaining any contact with my mum’s family?

Estranged daughter refuses my efforts to reach out

I have an estranged daughter based in Australia. No matter how I try to reach her, she refuses to reply in spite of my apologies for having said hurtful words to her while growing up. How should I untie the knot?

Choosing a church with my fiancé

My fiancé and I grew up in different Methodist churches and both of us serve actively in our churches. We are struggling to decide which church to attend after marriage. Both of us have our own community and ministry so it is really difficult for us to decide which church to attend. Can you advise us on how to decide and what factors we should consider?

Menu