At The Well

Can a divorcee remarry in a Methodist church?

My friend (a Catholic) divorced her husband because he had lied to her regarding a loan shark. For more than four years, she faced a horrible life in debt. She managed to help him and save him from the debt, but she couldn’t forgive his behaviour and was traumatised by the experience. Now, after years of trauma and trust issues, she is interested in a Methodist guy and wants to remarry. Will this be allowed in Methodist churches?

My wife is discouraged by our lack of success with IVF

My wife and I have been trying to have a child for several years. We have tried IVF but so far have not been successful. The whole process has not only been costly, but also emotionally draining and stressful for our relationship.

Should I date my boss?

My boss has been hinting that he is interested in me and has asked me out more than once. I have politely declined up to now because I’m not sure about how it will look and affect my relationship with teammates. To his credit, he has been professional at work. What should I do? ~ Love Actually

Dealing with my son’s sex-change

My only adult son, who is single and lives with me, is undergoing a sex- change surgery to become a woman. I am a committed Christian who has been attending church for many years.

Dating a non-Christian

I’ve dated a few Christians in the past, but things did not work out due to various reasons such as not being financially stable and having cultural differences. Recently, I started dating a Thai lady. She is not of the same faith. I understand that as a Christian, we should not be unequally yoked. If both parties are serious and committed to work things out, should I continue dating her? I know there will be many obstacles ahead, such as my parents, who I think will object to a daughter-in-law of a different faith and nationality.

My daughter wants to give up on a prestigious university degree

My 21-year-old daughter is currently studying in a university overseas. She managed to enter a prestigious course that is difficult to get into and we were all very happy when she got selected. She is now in her third year of the course with one more year to go before she graduates. During her holidays, she came back home and shared that she did not want to continue her studies. She said she realised that she had no interest in this course and cannot see herself going further. We were shocked. We tried to reason with her and persuade her to finish what she began, pointing out that she would end up with no degree and would have to start from scratch again. She refuses to listen and feels that we are pressuring her because we have paid so much for her overseas education and do not want our money wasted, rather than caring for what she feels. We are also worried that she will regret her decision later. After all, she wanted to do this course. What should we do?

Should I stay and care for my ex-husband, who has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s?

After a 22-year long marriage, I finally filed for divorce. I struggled with this decision for almost a decade. He was emotionally distant and generally a traditional, chauvinistic family man. We function like housemates who happen to share two children. A few months after the uncontested divorce was finalised by the courts, he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. He is only 49 years old. I am at a loss for what to do—if I leave him, the caregiving burden will likely fall on the children, who will resent their mother for divorcing their father. If I stay, I will be resentful every day. What can I do now? The children are still unaware of the divorce and their father’s illness.

I keep paying for meals out with my friend

My new friend and I are from vastly different cultures, but we see eye to eye on most things. We are both students and when we go out, we are supposed to take turns to pay for meals. But I’ve noticed that I am always the one paying. Should I say something? It’s not that I don’t want to be generous. I just don’t want to be taken advantage of. Furthermore, he comes from a much wealthier family than I do.

Can’t click with my cell group mates who are older

I’ve been attending cell group for a few years but the level of interaction is at acquaintance level and we usually just talk about the Bible. I’m the youngest in the cell group and the rest are clearly in a different phase of life. The topics the elderly talk about always centre around bodily pains and the married ones talk about their kids. I’m the only single and while I empathise with them, I feel like we do not have the same interests. It’s very difficult to click with them in a more intimate manner. I’ve tried visiting another cell group with people closer to my age, but it felt awkward. How do I build intimate relationship with cell group mates?

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