Gift a subscription, today.
Subscribe

At The Well

Should I maintain confidentiality for a relative’s problem when she is 18 years old?

Recently, my wife’s cousin’s 18-year-old daughter got into some trouble relating to fraudulent transactions, sex scams, etc. and called me for legal advice. After giving her some preliminary advice and linking her up with a lawyer friend to represent her in the case, she asked me not to tell anyone, especially her parents, of her situation. While I tried my best to encourage her to be upfront and honest with her parents, she refused. Should I tell her parents what happened or maintain confidentiality and hope that she tells them herself?

I seem to have lost a friend

I have always looked up to a sister from a former church. She is an intercessor like me and I learned from her spiritual insights. I am an introvert; she has been my only best friend for the past 40 years. We meet once a year over Christmas. When her husband passed away 10 years ago, my friend slowly changed her behaviour. She became forceful and assertive over time. Last year she abruptly broke off the friendship and we didn’t meet at Christmas. I have been praying for God to restore our friendship but my prayer is still unanswered. I am hurting over the loss of a cherished friendship. My faith in God is badly shaken. Emotionally and spiritually, I feel rejected, lonely and vulnerable. It’s hard to make new friends.

Is using a private investigator the right thing to do?

My brother suspects that his wife is being unfaithful. He is thinking of engaging a private investigator to obtain proof of her infidelity. As a Christian, is this something that he should be doing? Wouldn’t it open the possibility of divorce, which is considered wrong?

Intrusive mother-in-law

I have been living with my in-laws since we got married. My husband is the only son and when we got married he asked I was fine to stay with his parents since he has a duty to care for them. They are elderly and my father-in-law has dementia. Now that we have two young kids, I would like my own home and space. I do not get along with my mother-in-law as she is intrusive and feels that since the home is theirs, she can do what she likes, including coming into our rooms. I have spoken to my husband many times but if we move out, there is no one else to help care for his parents. I am frustrated because I not only have to care for my two kids, I have to care for two elderly people who do not appreciate what I do for them. At the same time, I want to submit to my husband as he is the head of the home.

Worried that my daughter is gay

I suspect my young adult daughter is gay and she has a girlfriend who stays over regularly. She has stopped going to church and feels that Christians are very narrow-minded and judgemental. She is supportive towards the LGBT community and attends events like Pink Dot. I am considering if I should ask her directly about her sexual orientation to remove my doubts. At the same time, I know that the truth may devastate me, and I am not sure if I can handle it. Should I leave the matter and just commit to God, or should I proactively speak to my daughter and share the Christian stance on same-sex relationships?

Remarrying after divorce

My brother has been a divorcé for 7 years after his ex-wife was found to be unfaithful to him. He met someone a year ago in church and they are planning to marry next year. I’m not a believer (my brother and his wife-to-be are) but I am curious: Is it wrong for him to remarry? Does the Bible consider it adultery?

My wife’s OCD is destroying us

My wife exhibits symptoms of OCD. She spends many hours cleaning our home and has a fear of germs. When she goes out, she wears two masks and constantly sanitises her hands. The pandemic made her symptoms worse. Recently, she refused to let me into the home after work unless I changed into a new set of clothes. She refuses to see a psychiatrist. I survive by giving in to her demands for cleanliness but it has come to a point where I feel I cannot go on. I love her but her condition is destroying our relationship and affecting my mental health badly, to the point that I am considering leaving the marriage.

It’s unfair that my brother is doing well when he does not know God

Why does it seem that things are going so well for my brother even though he doesn’t have God in his life? He has a stable job, enjoys his time going out with friends and has found a life partner (albeit a non- Christian), while I spend most of my free time on church activities and have yet to find a life partner. It seems unfair to me.

Must old friendships end when new friends appear?

I have a close friend from secondary school whom I used to hang out with a lot. Recently, she seems uninterested in spending time with me and has started spending more time with her colleagues. She told me that I need to look for new friends. I feel hurt because I thought we were friends and we had supported each other through several difficult times in our friendship. I do have other friends, but I don’t understand why some friendships have to end just because new friends appear.

Dealing with my mother’s bipolar disorder

I’ve had to deal with my mother’s mood swings for the past 16 years since she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and prior to that, with her depressive episodes since my father passed away in my teens. Often, to preserve my own sanity and protect my children from the toxicity and negativity, I’ve chosen to keep a distance as each visit leaves me emotionally drained. I continue to care for her and maintain constant contact via text. But I am often made to feel guilty by well-meaning friends who feel I should spend more time with her. Where do I draw the line between honouring my mother, and caring for myself and my family?

More
More

Aug 2026

Jul 2026

Jun 2026

May 2026

Apr 2026

Mar 2026

Feb 2026

Jan 2026

Dec 2025

Nov 2025

Oct 2025

Sep 2025

Aug 2025

Jul 2025

Jun 2025

May 2025

Apr 2025

Mar 2025

Feb 2025

Jan 2025

Dec 2024

Nov 2024

Oct 2024

Sep 2024

Aug 2024

Jul 2024

Jun 2024

May 2024

Apr 2024

Mar 2024

Feb 2024

Jan 2024

Dec 2023

Nov 2023

Oct 2023

Sep 2023

Aug 2023

Jul 2023

Jun 2023

May 2023

Apr 2023

Mar 2023

Feb 2023

Jan 2023

Dec 2022

Nov 2022

Oct 2022

Sep 2022

Aug 2022

Jul 2022

Jun 2022

May 2022

Apr 2022

Mar 2022

Feb 2022

Jan 2022
Archived Issues
Menu