I’m 15 and dating someone who insists our relationship stay completely private. After almost a year, we’ve barely spent time together because we don’t want anyone to know. I feel neglected because she prioritises her studies and rarely spends time with me, but I’m scared to bring it up because I don’t want to lose her. I’m a Christian and she isn’t, and this has been causing a lot of unrest in my heart. I’ve tried inviting her to church, but she’s always too busy. I also read 1 Corinthians 7:12–14 and feel torn, since I entered this relationship with marriage in mind. I really like her, but I don’t know what to do or how to navigate these tensions.
Benny says
Dear :(,
It appears clearly that the person you are interested in has her focus not on relationships but on her future. You, on the other hand, although also focused on the future, have her and marriage fixed as the obvious choice. Some may wonder, how can you be so sure? After all, you both hardly have had time to get to know each other. Also, you may not have the benefit of knowing other girls to know if she is the “right one”.
Perhaps it would be wise for you to take the lead from her because you certainly cannot force her into the relationship. Go with her pace, even if it is much slower than yours. In the meantime, see if you can stir her interest in Christianity. This is aligned with your concern that you both should have a common faith.
If indeed the Lord has his plans for you two to be together, no amount of social engineering and human effort will hasten it. It will come to pass in good time if we commit it to the Lord.
