From what I understand, divorce is permissible if one party commits adultery and wants to divorce their legal spouse. If the spouse agrees to the divorce, would it mean he/she does not believe that God can heal the marriage? On the other hand, if the spouse does not agree to the divorce, is he/she being stubborn and overly optimistic? In what circumstances would God not want the spouse to divorce the party who continues to commit adultery?
Joey says
Dear Wondering,
God desires reconciliation and he can heal a marriage fractured by infidelity. But that can only happen if (i) the party who committed adultery is truly repentant, and desires to change, (ii) both parties are willing to put in the hard work of repairing the marriage, and (iii) both parties are willing to do what it takes to continue maintaining the health of their marriage. This is because God respects human free will, and we must want to work in tandem with God. The couple can start this process of healing and reconciliation by going for marriage counselling. However, if the unfaithful spouse has asked for a divorce and/or continues to commit adultery, it’s a clear sign that there is no repentance. As long as that is the case, reconciliation would not be possible.
The party who was cheated on would be emotionally overwhelmed, and it can be a confusing time. The relationship dynamics of the couple can also add another layer of complexity. It would be helpful for the party who was cheated on to prayerfully assess the situation and discern the next steps with the help of his/her pastor, a Christian counsellor and with godly counsel from Christian friends of the same gender.
