I have been married for three years after having a steady relationship for five years. Lately, my husband seems discontented with marriage and wants out. We went for secular and spiritual counselling and he was advised to get his life right with God to repair the marriage. However, he continues to go out with friends, take overseas trips without me and comes back home late to avoid me. He shows no signs of wanting to reconcile. What should I do?
Benny says
Dear Waiting,
I feel the sense of helplessness in your voice. After spending much of your adult life with this person, he now not only says that he is not satisfied but also wants out of the marriage. I also cannot help noting the fact that his discontent is voiced at the third year of your marriage, which is the minimum number of years a marriage must have existed before parties can file for a divorce. It also sounds like the good counsel to get his life right with God has fallen on deaf ears.
Firstly, do all you can to save this marriage. If there are problems, a divorce should not be the first means of fixing it. This means that by no means should you agree to end the marriage especially if this is not your wish. Do not sign any legal documents and when faced with any, consult a lawyer for advice as to your rights.
Secondly, pray that the Lord will intervene and speak with your husband about his decision. A marriage is a covenant relationship and is not to be entered into nor ended lightly. Delay as long and as legally possible any attempts to dissolve the marriage. You are hoping for more time so that reason may set in. Thirdly, enlist the support of family and friends who can speak on behalf of the marriage. It is possible that he is surrounding himself with people who do not hold strongly to the sanctity of marriage. Lastly, seek counselling help again. Note that this alone cannot deter a determined person from divorce but we can only try to do all we can to avoid a divorce.
