I’m in my 30s and currently seeing a guy in his late 40s. I really enjoy his company and he is wonderful in many aspects. However, he displays some narcissistic traits and has inflated his credentials and background. He lied about his age and had two previous marriages which he did not disclose. I get the sense that he might be insecure and may have been hurt by his previous relationships. Should I continue seeing him? How can I encourage him to be truthful? Can I truly love someone who is broken and a narcissist?
Benny says
Dear B,
It sounds like there are a few “red flags” that have been raised in this relationshipânot being truthful is a big one. This is especially when it concerns rather critical areas of his past, such as his two failed marriages. Not being honest about his credentials and age might be forgiven as a person wanting to put on his best front. But leaving out such big details in one’s life is a serious oversight.
Also, to have had failed two marriages begs the question of what his role was in their breakdown. If he were to give you an explanation, would you believe his account?
Your mentioning of the possibility of him being “broken” and a “narcissist” seems to indicate that you have several strong misgivings about moving forward. On the other hand, persons with are narcissistic inclinations can be rather attractive.
