Relationships

Choosing the right person to marry

I am quite confused about how to discern whether a person is the right person for me. What signs might God provide to help us better discern whether we are compatible with others?

Moving on from parents’ divorce

My parents divorced some years ago. I was already an adult when it happened. But till today, I struggle with feelings of betrayal, anger, disillusionment and sadness. I live my life in a constant attempt to escape from these feelings. My attempts at gaining closure by talking to my mother were met with, “You were grown up, don’t be so sensitive! / You shouldn’t be affected”, or it would end up in a huge argument. Henceforth, I kept everything to myself. When I think of old times, the tears still start to flow, like it happened yesterday. My mother has remarried, but I still pine daily for my parents and family to be reunited. I don’t want to live like this anymore. How do I move on?

Friendship with a female colleague

I am a married man. I have a female colleague whom I work with on occasions for certain projects, and we get along very well. She is supportive of the work I do, and my feeling is reciprocal. Is it okay for me to have a casual or close friendship with my female colleague? Would eating a meal alone with her regularly, say once or twice a week, be perceived as suspicious? Is avoiding being friendly with her the safest way of steering clear from an undesirable relationship?

LGBTQ at my son’s school

My 16-year-old son tells me that his school (an all-boys school) has a handful of students who have openly declared they are gay, bisexual or gender fluid. How should I handle this as a Christian parent, while showing that it is important to love all our neighbours?

When doing your utmost still isn’t enough

Life’s stories do not always have happy endings. Often, the endings are unexpected. Now this may fly in the face of some of us who consider ourselves somehow protected or blessed in life. Some believers may also hold fast to God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11 of his plans to prosper and not to harm.

Struggling to trust God in providing a life partner

I’ve had a few failed relationships and I seem to be unable to meet the right one. Friends or peers around me are all happily married with kids, and I feel like I am the odd one out. When I attend weddings, I genuinely share the joy of the couple, but I try not to be reminded of my singleness. Sometimes I struggle because I have been trying to be faithful to serve God and trust that he will give me the best, but my Mum (who is not a believer) especially wonders why my powerful God is unable to provide. How can I cope with my struggle to trust that God is good and believe that he wants the best for me, despite not seeing signs of the right one on the horizon?

Is it weird I don’t have a BFF?

I have a couple of good friends, some that I can share things with. However, I do not have a best friend. Also, though I have many friends from different social circles whom I meet with occasionally, I don’t have one particular close-knit group that I often hang out with. I have been wondering for years: Is it normal not to have a best friend at all, or a close-knit social circle? Is there anything wrong with me or my personality?

Change is more than a feeling or an intent

The final exam of a counselling course I teach involves my students analysing and proposing a plan of action for a hypothetical case. In addition to writing an essay to demonstrate their analytical skills, they do a role play.

How tough is your love?

Love is often associated with ideas of romance, roses, soft-focus pictures and gentle, kind words. Toughness, being stern and exacting, seem to be diametrically opposite. Yet many of us would have heard of “tough love”. What is it?

Menu