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At The Well

My parents treat the helper badly

My elderly parents have unreasonably high expectations of domestic helpers. When everyday things are not done their way, they get upset and raise their voices. This causes a lot of tension at home. Many helpers have come and gone, and I am afraid we will soon be barred by the Ministry of Manpower from hiring any more. How do I persuade my parents that they need a mindset change about helpers and to treat them kindly?

My friend is always late and on the phone when she’s with me

I have been friends with G for over ten years and our families are close. Lately, I am realising that G has not matured much despite us being in our early 30s. She is perpetually late (15 – 40 minutes), always on her phone, and defensive if you point this out. When we meet, she tends to unload her worries without asking how I am doing. She complains constantly about her job and love life even though I can see that sometimes it is her own fault. While there has been no major falling-out between us, I realise more and more she is someone I do not want to be friends with, as I have become busier with my own life. Is it wrong to want to cut her out of my life?

Oppressed and bullied at work

It’s been three months since I took over a managerial role. I am not supported or welcomed by my staff of four, my boss and assistant boss. I feel very oppressed and bullied at work. I feel like I need to outsmart them and break up their clan.

My wife and mother don’t get along

I have been married for less than two years. My wife and my mother don’t get along. My mother thinks that my wife does not like her and is now threatening to cut off all ties with me so that I will not be stuck in the middle. My wife does not want to be too close to my mother. How do we strike a balance between leaving our parents after marriage and honouring them at the same time? I am really stuck and praying that God will bring peace to my family.

Moving on from parents’ divorce

My parents divorced some years ago. I was already an adult when it happened. But till today, I struggle with feelings of betrayal, anger, disillusionment and sadness. I live my life in a constant attempt to escape from these feelings. My attempts at gaining closure by talking to my mother were met with, “You were grown up, don’t be so sensitive! / You shouldn’t be affected”, or it would end up in a huge argument. Henceforth, I kept everything to myself. When I think of old times, the tears still start to flow, like it happened yesterday. My mother has remarried, but I still pine daily for my parents and family to be reunited. I don’t want to live like this anymore. How do I move on?

Choosing the right person to marry

I am quite confused about how to discern whether a person is the right person for me. What signs might God provide to help us better discern whether we are compatible with others?

Friendship with a female colleague

I am a married man. I have a female colleague whom I work with on occasions for certain projects, and we get along very well. She is supportive of the work I do, and my feeling is reciprocal. Is it okay for me to have a casual or close friendship with my female colleague? Would eating a meal alone with her regularly, say once or twice a week, be perceived as suspicious? Is avoiding being friendly with her the safest way of steering clear from an undesirable relationship?

LGBTQ at my son’s school

My 16-year-old son tells me that his school (an all-boys school) has a handful of students who have openly declared they are gay, bisexual or gender fluid. How should I handle this as a Christian parent, while showing that it is important to love all our neighbours?

Struggling to trust God in providing a life partner

I’ve had a few failed relationships and I seem to be unable to meet the right one. Friends or peers around me are all happily married with kids, and I feel like I am the odd one out. When I attend weddings, I genuinely share the joy of the couple, but I try not to be reminded of my singleness. Sometimes I struggle because I have been trying to be faithful to serve God and trust that he will give me the best, but my Mum (who is not a believer) especially wonders why my powerful God is unable to provide. How can I cope with my struggle to trust that God is good and believe that he wants the best for me, despite not seeing signs of the right one on the horizon?

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